Boccaccio the Decameron—Day 6 Stories
With Day 6 approaching the crown is put on Elisa’s head. She tells the group that the stories will have the theme of people getting out of a fix, by the use of a witty remark.
Day 6 Story 1
Mistress Oreta is the wife of Geri Spina. She is traveling with a knight who cannot tell a story that makes sense to the lady, and so she says to him; “The steed of yours goes too hard a pace, Sir, so please set me on my feet again!”
Day 6 Story 2 as told by Pampinea
Geri Spina was in Pope Bonifacio’s court. Cisti, the baker, made a good living. Mr. Spina and the Pope’s men pass his door daily, so Cisti puts out 2 glasses and a flask of wine. Cisti is invited to a farewell dinner Mr.Spina gives. Mr Spina asks Cisti for a flask of wine for his guests, He sent his servant not with an empty flask, but with a flagon. Cisti is enraged and refuses to fill it. When the wrong was righted,the flask was filled and the two men were friends.
Day 6 Story 3 as told by Lauretta
“The nature of repartee should not snap at the hearer like a dog, but like a sheep”. Antonio D’Orso was Bishop of Florence. A man named Diego della Ratta came to Florence and liked the Bishop’s niece. Her husband, even though he was from a noble family, had the instincts of avarice and miserliness, so the man, Diego della Ratta, offers him 500 florins to sleep with his wife. Mr. Diego della Ratta, himself no angel, had common coins guilded so they resembled gold. He presented them to the woman’s husband. This story got around town; the Bishop remained silent. On a Pallium day, when the Bishop sees the lady, he says to her, “Look here, Nonna, do you think you could resist this beau?” She answers, “My Lord, he may not succeed in winning me, but I would first want to make sure that the money was good.” She was able to bite as harshly as she was bitten.
Day 6 Story 4 as told by Nefile
Sometimes people who are experiencing fear are prompted to use their tongues at that moment. Currado is a noble citizen who enjoys hawking and hunting. He felled a crane and sent it to Chichibo to roast for supper. Brunetta, a girl Chichibo liked, entered the kitchen, and Chichibo tore off a leg for her. The Master, Currado, wanted to know why the bird only had one leg.
On the banks of the river the birds are tethered on one leg; then Currado shooed them away with a “HO, HO”, and up they flew upon 2 legs. “But” says Chichibo, “You didn’t shout HO, HO to the crane last night so it didn’t bring out the other leg!!!!!
Day 6 Story 5 as told by Pamfilo
A man named Forese da Rabatta—a dwarf—knew the law very well. Giotto, his friend, was a great artist. They both owned properties. Forese came upon Giotto after visiting his estate. A downpour overtook them so they borrowed 2 cloaks and hats from the peasants. Mr Forese sees how muddy and ill dressed Giotto looks and says, “Ha, ha if a stranger were to meet you do you suppose he would take you for the finest painter in the world?” “Perhaps he would,” said Giotto, “if when he saw you, he had a suspicion that you did not even know your ABC’s”.
Day 6 Story 6 as told by Fiametta
Michele Scalza was a merry scamp. One day the question arose as to which was the oldest most aristocratic family of Florence. Some said the Uberti and others the Baronci. Scalzi proved that the Baronci were the oldest of any family by saying that the Baroncis were made by the Good Lord when he was just learning how to draw. Most people have respectable looking faces while all Baroncis have odd ones—one with a long nose, another with a jutting chin, another with a face as wide as a platter. They look like childrens’ drawings. “The Good Lord made these people when he was just learning.”
Day 6 Story 7 as told by Filostrata
This woman made people laugh and so saved herself from death! In Prato the law said if a woman was caught being an adultress, she was to be burned alive. Filippa, was surprised by her husband while she was in bed with another.
The husband had her summoned by the court; she told the judge, “Laws should be equal for everyone, but they are weighted against women who can give pleasure to more people than men can, AND when this law was drawn up, women did not consent to it. So that makes the law reprehensible. If you go ahead with the sentence of death, then grant me one question.
Please ask my husband if I ever failed to yield myself to him, whenever, and as often as he wished.” “No”, said the husband. “If that’s so, then what was I to do with what was left over? Isn’t it better to give some enjoyment to someone else?” Everyone laughed, and she was not put to death.
Day 6 Story 8 as told by Emilia
Fresco had a niece named Ciesca. She found fault with everything and everyone. She was filled with pride. One day she snorted and puffed near her uncle. “What’s the matter?” he asks. “Today’s a holiday, and I had to come back early from the festivities because there were too many ugly men and women.” “Well,” says her uncle, “since you hate ugliness so much as you say you do, don’t look in the mirror!!”
Day 6 Story 9 as told by The Queen
There were clubs in Florence formed by men of wealth. Each took turns taking all the members to dinner. One club, to which Betto Brunileschi belonged, tried to lure Guido Cavalcanti to join, but Mr. Betto was never able to do so because Guido was always preoccupied with philosophical ideas. One day Guido left Orto San Michelle and was seen by the men near the gravestones in the graveyard.
“Guido”, why do you refuse to join us?” Guido answers, “ You can tell me anything you want to in your own home”—meaning these tombs are homes for the dead, and when he says we are in our homes, he means all us unlettered men are worse than dead, compared to him. We’re IN our homes when we are here.” They never bothered him again.
Day 6 Story 10 as told by Dineo
There was a monk named Friar Onion. He gave grain to poor people. He told them he would show them a relic from Angel Gabriel when he made the Annunciation to Mary. The relic was a feather.
Giovanni and Bragio were rogues—they would steal the feather. Father Onion had a servant named Guccio the Whale—a lazy , dirty, ill bred, foul tongued man. The Father left him at the inn to guard his belongings while he went out. The men take the feather from the box and substitute some coals. So the Father changes his speech; goes on a long harangue about his troubles and then tells the people that the coals were the same ones that St. Lawrence was roasted upon.. “I thought I had the box with the feather, but no. There is no error in choosing the wrong box because the Lord willed it”, says the father. Thus, he played a prank upon those who would embarrass him by stealing the feather. The rogues confess and return his feather.