Day Eight--- Boccaccio’s Decameron
Day 8’s stories are about pranks that husbands play upon their wives.
Day 8 Story 1 as told by Neifile
In Milan there was a German named Gulfardo—liked a woman named Ambogia the wife of Gasparruolo Cagastraccio—a afriend of his. If he wanted her love, she told him he would have to pay 200 florins in gold, and tell no one. He thought her vulgar so decided to play a trick on her.
The woman tells him her husband will be away, so Gulfardo asks her husband for 200 florins. He then gives them to the woman, and tells her to give them to her husband. They sleep together.
“I didn’t need the 200 florins you loaned me, so I I gave them to your wife!’ says Gulfardo. She couldn’t deny it, and the crafty lover enjoyed his mercenary mistress without paying a penny.
Day 8 Story 2 as told by Pamfilo
I’m telling a story about priests who continually take advantage of us without us being able to retaliate.
Not far from here lived a lusty priest. He was taken by Belcolore the wife of a farmer. She played the tambourine at country dances. She pretended she did not know what he was up to. When the husband was away the priest goes to see her. If you want my services, get my spinning wheel fixed, and get my gown out of pawn. He tells her he has no money but will leave his serge tabard as proof of something valuable; and then sends a servant to her to lend him a mortar. Then he sends the servant again to ask for his tabard. This time the husband is home and chastises his wife for asking a pledge from the priest. She has to return the tabard, and tells the servant: “Tell the Father he’ll never make any more sauce in her mortar!”
Day 8 Story 3 as told by Elisa
A painter called Calandrino had two friends: Bruno and Buffalmacco. There was also a man named Maso who thought he would have some fun playing a joke. Maso seeing the paintings in the San Giovanni Church, spoke as if he knew about them and then convinces Calandrino that the black stones about town, if worn, makes a person invisible. Calandrino goes to his friends and convinces them to gather the stones; they can sell them and be rich.
He gathers them; his friends think he is a fool. He goes home and gets a beating from his wife. And realizes luck is not destined to be his.
Day 8 Story 4 as told by Emilia
A widow named Piccarda lived near Fiesole. A rector fell in love with her. He was old and had too high an opinion about himself. She tells him she’s not interested. But he persists, and finally she says, “No matter how strong a fortress, it is bound to fall by daily attack.”
So she has her maid lie in the bed pretending to be her. Her 2 brothers know about him and get the bishop to come with them. The bishop finds him in bed and he is exposed.
Day 8 Story 5 as told by Filostrata
The Provosts of the Marches come to Florence. One brought a man named Messer Nicola San Lepidio who looked strange; not like a judge or even a gentleman, He wore very baggy pants. Maso (the man in Elisa’s story) tells Ribi and Matteuzzo, both scalawags. Their plan is to pull his trousers off. They do so while distracting the judge so that he has to stand up. Alas the pants come down! It was because the judge instead of bringing along other judges of merit, brought along “tatterdemalions” instead!
Day 8 Story 6 as told by Filomena
Continuation of previous story: Calandrino had property near Florence where he slaughtered a porker. He was proud of it, and showed it to Bruno and Buffalmacco. Bruno tells him to sell it and have some fun with the money. Just tell your wife it was stolen from you. Bruno then steals it by getting Callendrino drunk.
One friend says it must have been a neighbor who stole it , and to find out we can set out ginger cakes; one cake will have hepatic aloes within. The person who stole it will be revealed because he won’t be able to eat the cake. It will be bitter. So all the neighbors are gathered; the one who gets the hepatic aloes is Callendrino—and Bruno reminds him of the time they searched for black stones that were worthless. Theyp promise not to tell his wife if he treats everyone to capons. The rogues soon left for Florence with the pig!
Day 8 Story 7 as told by Pampinea
In Florence there was a woman named Helen who was snobby, A nobleman named Ranieri saw her and fantasized about seeing her naked. She knew he liked her, but told him to wait in the garden while she frolicked with her lover. Ranieri, a scholar, almost froze to death all night long. He asks to be admitted to her room, and she replies,” How can you be cold if you have a burning love for me?” Finally Ranieri realized he was duped.
She thinks he is good at necromancy—and he tells her it must be performed at night. He sees a way to get revenge. Ranieri tells her to go to a tower near her home with a puppet he has made; to bathe naked with it and then climb the tower. He goes to watch her, and takes the ladder away from the tower. She pleads with Ranieri to let her down; he tells her to implore her lover, instead. Then he harangues her to think of the merits of the mature man. “At least bring me my clothes” she says. He promises but frist dines at friends and takes a siesta. She spent all night on the tower, The next day is very hot; peasants find her take her down from the tower.
She tells everyone she was beguiled by witchcraft. She learned a lesson; never to trifle with people and love.
Day 8 Story 8 as told by Fiametta
Spinelloccio and Zeppa were neighbors. Spinelloccio kissed Zeppa’s wife.Zeppa saw them heading to the bedroom; told his wife he knew what they were up to. He has a plan for revenge. He tells Zeppa to come to his house, and then locks him in a chest. Then he invites Zeppa’s wife over, and heads her over to the bedroom, Spinelloccio’s wife is horrified until Zeppa tells her Spinelloccio slept with his wife and he intends to sleep with her! End of story!
Day 8 Story 9 as told by The Queen
A pretentious doctor named Masta Simon da Villa liked Bruno and Buffalmacco, and wondered how they could live so gaily on their salaries as painters. Bruno says “We go “bush ranging!”—we take whatever we need without breaking into houses.” They tell him they belong to a secret society.
These rogues decide to play a trick on the doctor. They have banquets at the doctor’s house, lived like princes in his presence all the while palming off the most arrant nonsense on him. They told him they would get lovely ladies for him—one in particular was the Countess of Latrine. All the doctor had to do was be a member of this fraternity. Once he became a member they had him go to a tomb at Santa Maria Novella. He follows their directions; finds the exact tomb but notices that there are ditches below it. It is where farmers drop off the Countess of Latrine. Stinking as he goes back home, he gets a stiff reproach from his wife for being such an ass as to believe the painters’ prank!
Day 8 Story 10 as told by Dioneo
Merchants on ships unload their cargo at customs houses (storehouses) when they come into port. The seamen and the customs officers figure out the value of the goods, and deduct their own commissions. Then they either barter or sell the goods. Many men come away robbed of their goods.
Salabaetto was a lad who was being eyed by a lass named Iancofiore. They have an affair, She makes up a story about her brother needing money; he tells her he can give her 500 florins if she returns it in 2 weeks. As soon as she got her money she changes.
He goes to Naples where he has a friend named Pietro who tells him he should not have given his money to the girl, because he has other debts to pay.
He gets more merchandise and returns to Palermo. Iancofiore gets wind of what he has; now he doesn’t trust her. He tells her he is setting up a warehouse in Palermo-she tells him she has his money that she owed him. His ship is being held up in Monacco by pirates—holding it for 10,000 florins in ransom.
She sends a broker to him—gives him 1,000 florins; in return he signs his merchandise over to the broker. Then he boards a galley with 1,500 florins; goes to Naples; pays off his debts.
Iancofiore waits for a couple of months; when he doesn’t return the broker goes to the warehouse and finds that instead of valuable goods, Iancofiore has junk. She says, “ Who with a Tuscan would sell or buy must be of sharp wit or eye."